Destination

Getting the jitters...

Ok, so there are many types of sickness, there is an physical one, an emotional one, even a homey one, so why shouldn't there be a memorysick? (yup, got it out of homesick).It's incredible how the mind, when being about to face something unknown holds on to what it's familiarized with...I've been getting flooding memories of cool moments that have taken place during this past semester, but honestly, how can I miss them? is it missing? is it melancholy? or is it just paralyzing fear of what is about to come? -despite of how great that forthcoming moment may be-.

Also,how is it that emotions always end up taking over us? taking complete control over rational thought? now, I know that's not the way it's supposed to be, but honestly -just as I ended up discussing yesterday- the emotional impulse always comes before the rational one, how do you diminish its reach?
Yup, these are just some of the questions that have been pervading my mind today. Why are we so scared to detach ourselves not even completely if only for a little while without having to go through an anxiety phase? Honestly, just thinking about all of this -and more specifically experiencing it- makes my head ache which is why I should get going and get some sleep but I just had to do something to put my mind at ease -if there is actually such a thing-. Anyhow, on to another subject,I just have got to stop obsessing about this person!! and the worst part is that I'm wide aware that this is just not meant to be,I mean, we are just not meant for each other -if not in this lifetime, at least not at this moment- so I will just ask nicely...will you just STOP it dear mind??? I'm sure there are better things that you can focus on rather than thinking of something that I cannot have mainly because we are so out of tune!! ...ok now this may be one of those things that lead people to think I've lost it, however, the only way I can justify it is by saying that I lead a surrealistic lifestyle entirely based on surrealistic thought so,if there is a problem with it, just blame it on Breton and psychoanalisis...they made me do it!!!

He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blaaame,if you would have seen it,if you would have been there, I bet that you would have done the saaaame!!!

I really really hope this pre-adventure symtom gets easier with the passing of time, if not, I do believe I will lose my mental sanity for a fact!!

только здесь и теперь

Ok so yesterday was a really cool day, after tons of tears and desperate crying, we went to the airport, to just wait around together (and this is what I call: one for all and all for one!!). However -coincidentally or not- there was an argentinean girl there that ended up playing with us (yup that game we just don't seem to get enough of....and of which I've forgotten its name at this very moment) could it be a sign? anyway, what I really mean to say is that it kinda dawned upon me that life is happening right at this minute...ok so maybe it's not such a great discovery or anything but I really felt it, I realized that we just have to live in the moment and enjoy it because those moments are what really constitute one's life, and it depends on you whether it's a good one or not...ok so much for my philosophical moment but I just wanted to let all of this out....

На работу, стрелку или пару
Опять пора на всех парах лететь. Диагноз - запара,
Схемы, графики и календари.
В час пик у нас стартует типа городское гран-при.
Эй, давай, брат, оглянись назад,
Посмотри напра-нале или наугад,
Невпопад, нелепо, не серьёзно.
В этом местe в это время, пока не рано и не поздно.
Звезда упадёт на снег,
И растает туман горьким сахаром где-то,
Планета замедлит бег
На границе заката и рассвета.

Здесь и теперь, посмотри, не спугни.
Этот миг,
Этот крик
Никогда не вернётся.
Лягут на дно перелётные дни,
Этот блик,
Этот клик
Навсегда остаётся.

Wow! Я был здесь так много раз,
Но не видел этих глаз и лицо анфас.
Приснилось, в воздухе носилось, так сложилось,
перетусовалось, перевоплотилось.
Yeah! Рука достала первый билет,
Ты задавала мне вопросы, я просто знал на них ответ.
Только так, только здесь и теперь,
Как я мог тебя не видеть, открывая в эту дверь.

Кругами ходить, не знать,
Как смеются глаза, вырываясь из плена.
Как просто тебя понять
Посреди океана по колено.

Здесь и теперь, посмотри и замри.
Этот миг,
Этот крик
Никогда не вернётся.
Просто живи и не говори.
Этот блик,
Этот клик,
Эта ночь, это солнце.

Поток сознания, не зная как потянет изнутри
Умные слова кроют серым мелом,
Птицы сбросят крылья, сны проснутся, и закончится глава,
Догорит трава, и все займутся делом.

Feeling it

All that I'm living for
All that I'm dying for
All that I can't ignore
Alone at night

I can feel the night beginning
Separate me from the living
Understanding me
After all I've seen
Piecing every thought together
Find the words to make me better
If I only knew how to pull myself apart

All that I'm living for
All that I'm dying for
All that I can't ignore
Alone at night
All that I'm wanted for
Although I wanted more
Lock the last open door-
My ghosts are gaining on me

I believe that dreams are sacred
Take my darkest fears and play them
Like a lullaby
Like a reason why
Like a play of my obsessions
Make me understand the lesson
So I'll find myself
So I wont be lost again

All that I'm living for
All that I'm dying for
All that I can't ignore
Alone at night
All that I'm wanted for
Although I wanted more
Lock the last open door-
My ghosts are gaining on me

Guess I thought I'd have to change the world
To make you see me
To be the one
I could have ran forever
But how far would I have come
Without mourning your love?

All that I'm living for
All that I'm dying for
All that I can't ignore
Alone at night
All that I'm wanted for
Although I wanted more
Lock the last open door-
My ghosts are gaining on me

Should it hurt to love you?
Should I feel like I do?
Should I lock the last open door-
My ghosts are gaining on me

я просто люблю его!!