But your picture on my wall reminds me that it's not so bad

And yup this is so true. today my mom was robbed and therefore well..it was a very stressful day, HOWEVER there was a good thing that happened today, and that is that while I was ignorantly driving through the city on my way to get some coffee I received a phone call, now usually I don't answer numbers that I don;t know but I decided to answer anyway and did I receive the most unexpected phone call...there was a voice saying hi how are you and I was like...fine...who's this??? and the cool part came when she started talking to me in russian and I started automatically answering her in russian. I was in a complete desbelief and complete awe when she kept talking to me in russian and I kept saying who's this and she was saying..you don't recognize me anymore? til all of a sudden I blurted out the name of Irina AND GUESS WHO IT WAS?? IT WAS IRINA!!! gosh I couldn't believe it!! she was calling me all the way from Moscow to wish me a merry xmas, funny, cuz, obviously I've been thinking about her A LOT LATELY...dammit a year ago I WAS IN MOSCOW so it's been like I can't believe how fast time goes by,I've even been dreaming about her and I had planned to call her for New Year, guess she beat me to it, I didn't phone her over Xmas since they don't celebrate xmas! but aww she did so!! that was so cute!! of course every 30 seconds I kept saying WOW IRINA!! hehehe and she was so cute to ask me what time it was here and if she had woken me up and if she had calculated correctly this time!! and gosh, evidently this just made my day and this got me through it. It's just amazing how someone that is entirely on the opposite side of the planet can care about me a lot more than the ones that are here....why does she have to be so far away??? ....so yeah...this post's title is true. her picture on my wall reminds me that it's not so bad!!!

And now on other subjects...I guess i really need to rethink some things...today I had a chat that was rather illuminating,,,everything is always 50-50, not 90-10 :P so I have to give according to what I receive...not give too much too sudden...they just have to earn it...New Year's resolution among other things.....

And on the J issue...ok so I'm definetely attracted to J....the other day, which was a cool day by the way I ended up at J's place painting J's room and playing playstation, but I really had a nice time tho the message I received the night before was rather unsettling ...the whole...chiquita was like SAY WHAT?! and yyuuup I'm confused but I really think that what's really going on here is mere friendship and sadly I don't think this is going to change...there is just no interest from the other side on becoming something else...and I still managed to get J a simpsons' poster for the newly painted room....amd I stupid or what??...apparently yeah...I am....

What else other than my stupidity and what really helps me NOT to sink completelY (Irina's call)....I've been totally obsessing over: in a manner of speaking BUT GOSH IT REALLY GETS TO ME AND GETS ME ALL MELANCHOLY!!! as if I wasn't already....anyways, I think this is what I've been up to lately...YAY IRINA CALLED ME!!!! why OH WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO FAR AWAY?!!

Quizzing season

Ok now that boredom has officially kicked in I've begun my boring exploration of quizzes online and apparently this is me:

EXTROVERT
You are social and outgoing. You are most comfortable when with other people and experiencing the world first hand. Interaction with others and first hand experiences energize you. It is not unlike you to start conversations with strangers. You have a preference for the outer world: people, activities, and things. Other people provide you with a mirror, sounding board to help you develop ideas and plans. Being alone may sap your energies. Your concept of the world is derived from experiencing it firsthand and then drawing conclusions.
INTUITIVE
While you do process information through your senses you add a twist to your processing by relying on intuition and serendipity. You look for undercurrents of meaning and abstractions in what you experience physically. You do not just see things just as they are, but as what they could be. While you may rely on common sense at times, you trust inspiration far more.
JUDGING
You like decisions to be made as soon as possible. You are not comfortable with loose ends and like to see conflicts resolved as soon as possible. You have a preference for a well-structured, orderly lifestyle with few surprises. It may not be all that important who makes the decisions that gets things done as long things do get done. You take commitments very seriously. While you are not inflexible, you do like to stick to a plan once it is set into motion.
FEELING
You make decisions subjectively based upon your values and what is important to you. How people will be affected by your decisions is important to you. You are likely to make decisions based upon what you feel is acceptable and agreeable rather than what is logical. Your truths are founded in your values and those of the society you live in. It is important to remember that we are discussing how you evaluate data and make decisions, and that you rely on your feelings to do so in no way implies you are overly emotional.
Your Personality Type
Extrovert/Intuitive/Feeling/Judging



Your are friendly, optimistic and enjoy the social life. Your charisma makes you a very attractive leader. You have the ability to inspire and motivate others. You are supportive of and sympathetic to the plight others. You are reliable and goal oriented. Your penchant for diplomacy helps you solve conflicts and promote harmony within your group.

In relationships you truly like to please those you like or love. You seek harmony and cooperation in your relationships. You are very loyal. You like praise and respect and need to be reassured things are going well. You are not one to speak negatively of those close to you--Nor do you want to be spoken negatively of. You have a well-defined sense of proper and improper behavior. You may find it difficult to define your inner feelings.

Famous People of Your Type:

David, King of Israel, Abraham Lincoln, Ronald Reagan, William Cullen Bryant, Abraham Maslow, Ross Perot, Sean Connery, Elizabeth Dole, Francois Mitterand, Dick Van Dyke, Andy Griffith, James Garner, Gene Hackman, , Brenda Vaccaro, Randy Quaid, Peyton Manning.

Occupations Suited to Your Type Include:

Actor, advertising, clergy, designer, fund-raiser, performer, public relations specialist, psychologist, recruiter, sales person, social worker, teacher or professor, and writer.

OK THEN, GOTTA KEEP LOOKING FOR MORE THINGS TO KEEP ME ENTERTAINED....at least the whole intelectual mash up has ended!!! oh well now gotta just relax THO IT SEEMS TOO MUCH and do something!! ...I also have a loose end to fix tho...anyways...XMAS SEASON...AGAIN....yay....

FUCK LOVE!!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhh LOVE SUCKS!! HONESTLY!! why does it all have to be so fucking complicated? we want those who just don't give a fuck about us and the ones who would give their everything for us are the ones we just don't want! WHY WHY WHY??

I would say once again that I wanted to join an order or something and become a nun :P but apparently a friend has just told me that it didn't work LOL AND I SITLL CAN'T BELIEVE SHE ACTUALLY TRIED IT!!

But seriously....I hate these bloody feelings and emotions, they just mess everything up!!! at times like these I really wish I had no emotions....maybe that way I wouldn't screw things up and I wouldn't hurt myself because of them....maybe I should just forget all about J since evidently it's never going to happen and I don't know, give that fake hope that love will ever come along up....I don't know.....and the worst part is that I'm already confused enough as it is!! so this only makes everything worse.

Maybe this is the answer....

As simple as this...

You spurn my natural emotions
You make me feel like dirt
And I'm hurt
And if I start a commotion
I run the risk of losing you
And that's worse

Ever fallen in love with someone?
Ever fallen in love?
In love with someone
Ever fallen in love? (Love…)
In love with someone
You shouldn't've fallen in love with

I can't see much of a future
Unless we find out what's to blame
What a shame
And we won't be together much longer
Unless we realize that we are the same

Ever fallen in love with someone?
Ever fallen in love?
In love with someone
Ever fallen in love? (Love…)
In love with someone
You shouldn't've fallen in love with

You disturb my natural emotions
You make me feel like dirt
And I'm hurt
And if I start a commotion
I'll only end up losing you
And that's worse

Ever fallen in love with someone?
Ever fallen in love?
In love with someone
Ever fallen in love? (Love…)
In love with someone
You shouldn't've fallen in love with

Ever fallen in love with someone?
Ever fallen in love?
In love with someone
Ever fallen in love? (Love…)
In love with someone
You shouldn't've fallen in love with